


Craig Performs an Exorcism

by lordjenjen



Series: Father Tucker [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Craig is a priest, I laugh every time I try to reread it, M/M, NSFW porn though, This Is STUPID, it's a funny, not meant to be serious or fap material
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 17:36:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13816122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Father Tucker is summoned to the Tweak residence to expell some demons possessing their son.





	Craig Performs an Exorcism

Craig on the Job

***  
“Are you sure about this Father?”

“Yep.” Father Tucker thumped his thumb against the Bible in his hand. “He his definitely possessed. I'm going to need to do an exorcism.”

“Oh?” The man was far too intrigued. “Well if that's what you think-”

“Alone. Sir. I do not need the demon escaping, Tweek? That was his name correct?”

“Oh, yes. Tweek. Our only son. I was thinking maybe college hand changed him. Much like the morning sun-”

“Yeah. Whatever. For your safety and Tweek's, I'm going to need to do this alone. There will be a lot of yelling, screaming, pleading. Whatever you do, you do not come in. Do you understand? It may even be in your best interest to leave the house for a few hours.”

“Oh dear, hours, Father Tucker?”

She was so quiet, Craig had completely forgotten the woman was there. “Yes. I'm not sure how long it will take, some demons give up quickly, some like to make it difficult.”

“Alright, well if you insist-”

“I do. Now I have work to do, so excuse me.”

Craig didn't bother to give the couple an explanation as he picked up his bag of supplies and headed into the bedroom. Locked the door behind him, checking the knob to make sure it was actually locked. He didn't trust the parents, especially the father. 

“GAH! WHAT THE HELL, MAN!” 

“Safety precaution.” 

Craig turned towards the bed to see the Tweaks had tied their son down to it.

“JESUS CHRIST, MAN! I'M NOT POSSESSED!”

Craig just grunted and went about setting up for an exorcist. He set candles around the room, lighting each one as he went. 

“Are you- ngh- summoning a demon?”

“Nope. Just have to set the mood.”

“The mood!?”

Craig didn't answer as he flipped of the lights, the soft glow from the candles emitting enough light to allow him to see. He made his way back to the bed and began to pull out the necessary supplies. He picked up a bottle labeled “Blessed Oil” and set it on the bed.

“Exorcizamus te,” Craig began chanting as he unbuttoned the blonde’s shirt. The man started protesting, but Craig never wavered in his chant, “omnis immunde spiritus, omni satanica potestas-”

“Oh my God, you're not a priest and you're summoning a demon to take over my body all because my are fucking idiots and can't tell that I'm different because I went to rehab not because I'm possessed.”

Craig grinned a little but never stopped in his chant. Instead he began applying the oil messaging it into the man's skin. He could feel the other relaxing under his touch. “-Domini nostri Jesu Christi, eradicare et-”

“Nhg, you know, I know a group of people who would die to be in my place right now. Literally.” 

Craig ran his long fingers down the pail skin, massaging every inch of visible skin, trying to get the man to relax. Instead he felt the man's heart rate pick up when he brushed his nipples. Craig took it as a good sign, restarting his chant as he turned his massage from relaxing to erotic. 

“I should have stayed away at college. Being the loser in the dorms for spring break is better than being the loser who was sacrificed to-nnnhh- summon god knows what hellish ent- WILL YOU STOP PLAYING WITH MY NIPPLES!?”

Craig gave the nipples one last tweak before massaging the man's abdomen. He unbuttoned the tight jeans, being smart enough to untie one leg at a time to slide off the pants, acutely aware he wasn't wearing underwear. He was surprised the man put up hardly a fight. Normally at this point, his charge would start fighting back. 

“Are you even a priest? The Latin would suggest yes, but the stripping of the pants would suggest not.”

Craig didn't answer, he did make vague motions to his garb before pouring more oil and massaging the man's legs. He wasn't surprised to find the man had an erection. 

“They only ever warn you as a child of the priest touching you. Never as an adult.”

Craig did his best to resist smiling as he made his way onto the bed, between the man's legs, his chant still going strong. His hands finally reached Tweek waist. He massaged his hip a bit before grasping the man's erection.

A moan escaped Tweek, even though he was clearly holding back. He even parted his legs a little more for Craig, the best he could, being tied down. 

Craig let the man's erection go and reached for his bottle labeled “Holy Water.” He squirted a bit on to his fingers and went back to stroking Tweek's cock. The blonde watched intently as Craig lowered his fingers, playing with Tweek's ass.

“Okay, okay, so this is happening. No dinner. No kissing. Wow. What a gentleman.”

Craig pushed a finger in, working it in and out, before adding another. Tweek let out little pants, trying hard not to make too much noise. When Craig felt like he was getting close, he released the mans dick. 

“GAH! Jerk!”

Craig stopped chanting, staring Tweek down as he reached into his bag for a package labeled “Holy Protection.” He pulled his robes up a bit before opened the package and rolled the condom on, adding more holy water based lube to his shaft.

“Heavenly father, expel the demon from within this child of God,” Craig said, louder than needed to be as he slowly entered Tweek. 

“I commend you, foul demon, in the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, leave this body!” Craig began yelling as he moved within Tweek.

The louder Tweek got, the louder he yelled for the demon to leave the man's body. He thrusted hard into Tweek, stroking the man's dick. 

It didn't take long for Craig to get close. He knew it wouldn't. He was surprised, however, when Tweek came first, yelling, taking the Lord's name in vain. 

Craig watched as the shadow of a large demon exited Tweek's body. 

“In the name of,” Craig gritted his teeth, “the father, the-the- son and the hooooooly ghost, I,” as quick as he could Craig pulled out of Tweek and ripped off his condom, and stroke his dick, keeping it carefully aime. “I send ye back to hell!” Craig yelled.

The demon let out an ear shattering scream as Craig jizz penetrated it's spectral form, hitting Tweek's chest and face. Tweek let out a yell of his own. By his last shot, the demon separated from Tweek's body, entirely. The entity screamed as he disappeared. 

Tweek laid on his bed, unmoving, staring at the ceiling. His blue eyes, wide with terror.

Craig sat back, taking a moment to catch his breath. He threw the condom into his bag.

“You got cum on my face.” 

“Yep.”

“There was a demon in me and you chose to cum on my face.”

Craig leaned over the man to stare him in the eye. “Is there a problem?”

“Yeah. The problem is you fucked a demon out of me and came on my face. Why?”

“Because they never suspect it.”

“They never suspect it?”

Craig sighed. He wasn't expecting to have to explain this part of the exorcism. Usually people were more freaked out about the demon in them. Beat the alternative of listening to the screaming.

“No demon expects a priest to bless their own genitals. Nore do they expect to be seduced and lured out by a priest. Catches them off guard.”

Tweek was silent for a moment. Craig couldn't help but wonder when the man would start screaming. 

“Am-is… are there more?”

Craig kissed Tweek firmly on the lips. He could feel the warmth emitting from the blonde from having just exerted so much energy, but the man was clean.

“Maybe. Should do it again just to be sure. I'll even untie you this time.”

“Can you clean the cum off my face?”

**Author's Note:**

> "Nope. It needs to stay there for purification reasons."
> 
> I have this whole fucking back story for Craig. About how he's a young priest. How Thomas sent him away to become a priest when he saw signs Craig could be gay. Craig leared this method of exorcism while on mission work in Peru at 17. He brought it back with him to South Park, hoping to cleanse the town. Yet, he still performs a more standard one on women. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ He gay!
> 
> And fucking Tweek got possessed at rehab and the demon has been trying to slowly change him. What his parents noticed was actually just Tweek being meth addiction free. He refused their coffee and automatically assumed he was possessed. 
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading. Feedback was welcome.


End file.
